if nothing else just blame Bush.
My ass is itchy, who but to blame but one of the Bush's

OHHH, my hemorrhoids are acting up!!!!, Gawd danm you G.W. Bush!!!!!!
The day I got back from Iraq, I was just getting out of the car, in Manitou.
The hippy folk from up the street just so happened to be stooling down the street with their dreads and 'natural weave' clothing.
They loudly stated 'baby killer'! It was not more than 2 seconds that my little brother had this guy on the ground. Just so happened that the police knew I was
coming back into town that they 'dropped by'. Both of the 'hippies' were detained for questioning.
Needless to say the folk from up the street, steered clear of me while I lived there.